FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The less you worry about what people think, the less complicated your life becomes.

Do what makes you happy...
Be with whom makes you smile...
Laugh and enjoy yourself as much as you can...
Love others fully every day of your life.

CHALENGING NEGATIVE THINKING

Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself, the situations you encounter, and your expectations for the future.

But you can’t break out of this pessimistic mind frame by “just thinking positive.” Happy thoughts or wishful thinking won’t cut it. Rather, the trick is to replace negative thoughts with more balanced thoughts.

Ways to challenge negative thinking:

1. Think outside yourself. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions.

2. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self-imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking.

3. Socialize with positive people. Notice how people who always look on the bright side deal with challenges, even minor ones, like not being able to find a parking space. Then consider how you would react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and persistence in the face of difficulty.

4. Keep a “negative thought log.“ Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot down the thought and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your log when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. Ask yourself if there’s another way to view the situation. For example, let’s say your boyfriend was short with you and you automatically assumed that the relationship was in trouble. It’s possible, though, he’s just having a bad day.

HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE

1. You know who you are, what you want from life, where you are going, and the steps to take you there.

2. You’re highly motivated by your dreams, your goals and passions.

3. You’re in touch with your emotions, and are highly self aware.

4. You can calm yourself down when strong emotions have been stirred.

5. You are positive and focused, and you always persevere.

6. You are flexible, adaptable, and like to stretch and grow.

7. You accept yourself and others, and are honest and empathic.

8. You value others’ contributions and you see the best in them.

EYE CONTACT

Pay attention to eye contact:

Making good eye contact is essential as well.

It indicates you’re happy to be talking to that person, are comfortable and confident, with nothing much to hide.

However, if someone won’t meet our eye, it makes them seem a bit more shady (or it can simply send the message that you lack confidence.)

Also, try to be natural and don’t stare at the person, as they’ll feel uncomfortable and want to escape.

JUST TO LAUGH

Boy: I am not rich like Rohit, I don’t even have a big car like Rohit. But I really love you.

Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about Rohit.

Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?
Do you smoke? - No.
Do you eat too much? - No.
Do you go to bed late? - No.
Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? - No.  Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?

TO QUOTE

v  It is young people who will go on and change things in future. – Venki Ramakrishnan

v  The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why? – Mark Twain

v  If you are making mistakes then you are making new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something. – Neil Gaiman

LINES I LIKED

Ø  No one can be perfectly free till all are free; no one can be perfectly moral till all are moral; no one can be perfectly happy till all are happy.

Ø  No one can explain why thing s happen the way they do – some people being more intelligent, more efficient, and more gifted than others.

Ø  No one ever taught us to take risks, explore new territories, and treat fear as energy for doing and learning new things.

Trying is the first step to every achievement!

Meet you next month – July, 2016

 

Professor A. Narayanan, Ph. D., FISPP

E-mail: arumugakannu@gmail.com

Ph : 0422 4393017 Mobile : 098422 42301

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(NARA’S DIGEST) 

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(NARA’S NOTEPAD)

NARA'S NOTEPAD

VOLUME 12

MAY 2016

NUMBER 5

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MEMO FROM NARA

I am not a lawyer. Still I like to pen down something about lawyers who are professionals, serving our society by upholding the law of the land. If I am a lawyer, I may not know some of the flaws committed by lawyers. As an ordinary citizen of our country, I keep myself informed about what is going on around us.

A full page report on the lawyers’ agitation in Madras High Court in a daily recently induced me to think about the lawlessness of lawyers! The statistics presented regarding pending cases in Tamil Nadu was 8.8 lakh criminal cases as on December 2014 is of course alarming! I think the increase in number of cases is something to do with the growing population or peoples’ intolerance.

Lawyers boycotting court, the sacred place where everyone including common men and women come to seek justice, leads to accumulate more cases. “Cancelling one day would quite obviously increase the cases at a faster rate” felt one of the advocates. A yesteryear-lawyer felt that he obeyed the law and kept himself away from litigants and maintained a safe distance. It is often said nowadays that olden time was the best to live in!

Why lawyers are lawyers indulge in lawless activities at times? We do observe the lawlessness in Government Law Colleges. Students go on strike for indefinite periods and take law in their hands creating lawlessness. These students become full-fledged lawyers and behave the same way as they behaved in their colleges.

In general, lawyers identify themselves with caste associations, political parties etc. No judge is enforcing discipline among lawyers who are vociferous and arrogant. Lack of infrastructure and too many vacancies in Government Law Colleges are cited as reasons for students’ lawlessness.

It is expected that a lawyer should be proud to call him or herself an honourable lawyer by suitably equipping themselves as one and not disobeying the law. It is not as if all lawyers are bad, but a few of them are! In fact, such number is increasing day by day. The issue raised by the lawyers of Tamil Nadu is that Tamil should be the court language. All lawyers fully know that High Court has no power to declare Tamil as the official court language. Still the lawyers protested in the Madras High Court campus.

One of the advocates, Sudha Ramalingam said that the few advocates who have taken law into their hands, eroded the image of Bar and the Bench in the eyes of the common man. Resolving the problem has become a responsibility of Judges. Negotiations and mediations are the ways by which the learned Judges can resolve differences and come to a conclusion to run the court for the countless clients who knock the doors of courts every day.

Whatever we may say, the fact remains that in India when a child lies, it is said that you are fit to become a lawyer. It is a general perception that if you are a lawyer you would lie! Actually it is not true as an advocate says. A lawyer is not supposed to lie and hence he is an officer of the court!

TO SHAKE UP YOUR LIFE

1. Try saying “yes” instead on “no”.

2. Don’t allow your feelings to dictate your behaviour.

3. Travel to somewhere you haven’t been before.

4. Spend time with people who are different from you.

5. Try a new food, or learn or new skills.

6. Live in the present, not the future or the past.

7. Do something different - that scares you - every day.

SIMPLIFY LIFE

v  Breathe. When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present.

v  Do one thing a time. You’ll get better results and feel better and less stressed while doing those things.

v  Write it all down. Use your mind for better things than remembering what to do. And the mind is often like a leaky bucket. So write down all your great ideas, insights and thoughts before they go missing somewhere and add what you need to do to a to-do list.

v  Do all your food shopping once a week. You’ll save time, energy and possibly money.

v  Stop doing what you don’t like doing any more. Life changes and so do you. If you don’t like doing something anymore then stop doing that (even if it may take some time before you can do so by for example: switching jobs).

v  Stop trying to please everyone. There will always be people who you don’t get along with or that do not like you for some reason.

v  Stop trying to do things perfectly. Go for good enough instead and when you are there you are done. Get things all the way to do this way and then move on to the next thing.

v  Pack your bag before you go to bed. Then you don’t have to get stressed out by that in morning and you are less likely to forget something.

TO QUOTE

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

– Mark Twain

Silence is golden when you can’t think of good answer.

– Muhammad Ali

JUST TO LAUGH

Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane. Before the take off one announcement came “this plane is made by your students” then all professors stood up, ran and went outside, but the principal was sitting. One gay came and asked “You are not afraid” then the Principal replied: “ I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t ever start.”

Last night I got into an argument with my husband. I told him to take what’s his and leave. He picked me and walked straight out of the door.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from New York city to London?’ The agent replies, ‘just a minute.’ Thank you’ the blonde says and hang up.

YOU ARE VALUABLE

- Being enough isn’t something you have to prove.

- Being enough isn’t something you have to earn.

- You are immensely valuable right now – just where you are, and just as you are.

- It doesn’t matter how you dress, where you’re from, or how you look – you are valuable.

-It doesn’t matter what you’ve achieved (or haven’t achieved) – you are valuable.

- It doesn’t matter what your peers or your family do and say – you are valuable.

- It doesn’t matter what you’ve done (whether good or bad) – you are valuable.

- Don’t believe the lies you’re hearing, or are saying to yourself.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

1. Think before you speak as you can’t take back your words.

2. Don’t say anything until you’re feeling calm. We often regret what we say when we are mad.

3. Be simple and clear when you express what bothered you. Don’t be disrespectful, rude or hyper-critical.

4. Choose to leave the room or to distract yourself when you feel your emotions are really being stirred.

5. Try, if you can, to get some exercise as that reduces stress, and changes physiology.

6. Think about the people you enjoy being with, as that will remind you that not everyone is bad.

7. Try to plan ahead so you have some strategies when your feel the anger rising and you need to take control.

LINES I LIKED

Ø  Keep all of your commitments, if you want to be happy.

Ø  Keep digging for facts or data until the root cause is unearthed and they apply their minds to the solution.

Ø  Keep on improving by using failure as a signal that you need to try harder.