1. First, recognise that
not everyone is like you. We have different likes and dislikes, we want
different things, and we all see people and the world in different ways.
Hence, it is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or
react differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s
more a reflection of the fact that we all are different.
2. Try and leave your emotions aside and
objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s reaction
triggering something me?” It could be that you are over-reacting to a perceived
rejection because of previous hurts, put downs and rejections. Alternatively,
the other person’s reaction could be more related to what is going on in their life
at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)
3. Be alert to over-generalising and
over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think things like
that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me” or “I never do
anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m always going to get it
wrong and be rejected by everyone.”
4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other
places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintances so that our
self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key people treat us, or
react towards us.
5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of
life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only please
some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check to see if we
display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often annoy others (and it is
wise to work on changing those), at the end of the day we just have to be
ourselves. We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to
be someone we were never meant to be.
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