JUST TO LAUGH

 

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding she’d say: “you’re next”. So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is”

 

Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”

Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please hold my hand?”

 

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.