BARRIERS TO LISTENING

1.     Constantly comparing yourself to the speakers.

2.     Trying to mind read what the talker really thinks.

3.     Planning what argument or story to give next.

4.     Filtering so that one hears only certain topics or doesn’t hear critical remarks.

5.     Judging a statement to be “crazy,” “boring,” “stupid,” “immature,” “hostile,” etc. before it is completed.

6.     Giving off on one’s own daydreams.

7.     Remembering your own personal experiences instead of listening to the talker.

8.     Busily drafting your prescription or advice long before the talker has finished telling his/her woes.

9.     Considering every conversation an intellectual debate with the goal of putting down the opponent.

10.   Believing you are always right so no need to listen.

11.   Quickly changing the topic or laughing it off if the topic gets serious.

12.   Placating the other person by automatically agreeing with everything.

Because of these barriers, we typically retain for a few minutes only 65 per cent of what is said to us (recall 2 months later is 25 per cent)

RULES FOR KIDS

v  Don’t be selfish.

v  Don’t make mistakes.

v  Don’t be emotional.

v  Don’t tell people if you don’t like them.

v  Don’t be so unreasonable.

v  Don’t question people.

v  Don’t interrupt.

v  Don’t trouble others with your problems.

v  Don’t complain.

v  Don’t upset others.

v  Don’t brag.

v  Don’t be anti-social.

v  Do what people ask you to do.

v  Help people who need help… and so on…on…on…

FAILURE FORWARD

• Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is an important component of success. Suppose you set an objective, take action, and then fail to reach that objective on the first attempt.
• Even though you have experienced a failure, you're in much better shape than you were before you started.
• Because you've just learned, in a compelling and meaningful way, what doesn't work? And that puts you well on the way to finding what does work. 
•  The greatest achievements of all time are built upon multiple failures. The greatest achievers are those who are willing to experience failure on their way to the success they know will most certainly come. 
•  No one sets out with the intention of failing. Yet when failure comes, it is nothing to be ashamed of, and no reason to give up. 
•  Learn to see failure as just another step in the process of success. And even when the failures come, they will serve to move you forward.

-- Ralph Marston

PRACTICAL STEPS FOR MORE EFFECTIVE LISTENING

1.        Talk less. One of my students used to say that when she facilitated classes she always told her students that God gave you one mouth and two ears that should tell you something.

2.        Get rid of distractions. If it is important for you to listen, do everything you can to eliminate internal and external noise and distractions that interfere with careful listening.

3.        Don't judge prematurely. All of us are guilty of forming snap judgments and evaluating others before hearing them out especially when the speaker's ideas conflict with our own.

4.        Look for key ideas. We think much faster than people speak. To help focus attention (rather than drift off in boredom) extract the central idea.

5.        Ask sincere questions. Devil's advocate questions are really statements or criticisms in disguise. Sincere questions are requests for new information that clarifies a speaker's thoughts or feelings.

6.        Paraphrase. Reword the speaker's thoughts in your own words to make sure your interpretation as a listener is accurate.

7.        Suspend your own agenda. In other words, while you are listening, concentrate on what the speaker is saying not what you think.

8.        Empathic listening. Empathic listening is knowing that given the same set of circumstances you might have done the same thing. It is the ability to experience the world from the other's point of view. It doesn't necessarily mean that you agree, but that you understand.

9.        Open your heart with love. Often we listen to score points and make ourselves right and the other person wrong. When we open our hearts to each other, we do so with the belief that we are all the same. We have the same feelings, fears, and hurts.

VALOR

LI NA - FRENCH OPEN CHAMPION

There are three categories of people in the world. First are those who are scared to start a piece of work in view of the difficulties they might encounter while doing it. Second are those who start the work, but abandon it midway when a problem or difficulty arises. Third are those who not only start the work but also complete it successfully irrespective of difficulties. People belonging to the third category are called brave and valor is attributed to them.

A RECOMMENDATION FROM YOU MEANS A LOT!

If you enjoy NARA’S NOTEPAD,

perhaps you have family and friends who would

also appreciate being advised

when each new issue is released.

It is completely free to them as it is to you.

Learn how to say ‘no’ to people!

Meet you next month –AUGUST, 2011

 

Prof. A. Narayanan, Ph. D., FISPP

E-mail: arumugakannu@gmail.com

 Ph : 0422 2423017 Mobile : 98422 42301

www.nara.tumblr.com  (NARA’S DIGEST)

www.narapcard.com  (NARA’S  POSTCARD)

www.nara2007.blogspot.com  (NARA’S NOTEPAD)

www.nsdigest.blogspot.com  (NARA’S SCIENCE DIGEST)

NARA'S NOTEPAD

VOLUME 7

JUNE 2011

NUMBER 6

SUPPORTED BY

READERS LIKE YOU

SIT LESS,

MOVE MORE

MEMO FROM NARA

Exaggeration (Ex-ag-gera-tion) is a twelve-letter English word used everyday by all of us. Overstating is the meaning of this word. Some of us are very good in exaggerating a small incident into a big affair. Most of the media people, journalists, novelists and cartoonists are experts in exaggeration because their audience likes exaggeration. Providing simple bulleted facts are good for some, but many of us want a bigger picture with background and all. In order to feed the mass, all these people add more masala to taste better.

Cinema and TV serials are good examples of exaggeration. In a cinema or serial, unnatural issues are exaggerated for minutes together to impress the viewers. A stunt lasts for 15 to 20 minutes sometimes; the hero always thrashes dozens of gundas. The mother-in-law troubles the daughter-in-law beyond our imagination and such exaggerations bring tears in the eyes of women and some men viewers too. Such exaggerations in fact, affect the mind-set of people who are weak in thinking. All of us know that in our families small bickering may occur day in and day out. Instead of forgetting simple things, people start exaggerating it and talk more about it to many others and make it as a big issue. If you really look into the matter it may not be a serious issue at all. In fact, the exaggerators make the simple issues into a complicated matter involving connected and non-connected people in the family. So such exaggerations bring hatred among family members. It sometimes leads to quarrel, infighting, misunderstanding and unpeacefulness. It should be the duty of everyone to put down such silly things and try to keep the harmony of people like friends and relatives.

People who give lectures from stages invariably exaggerate facts – either true or false. Sometimes praising people beyond a limit is another sort of exaggeration. One can easily understand the exaggerated version of speech or write-up. If the exaggeration is not affecting the original fact, then one can tolerate; but if it is not then the exaggeration is meaningless. Friends usually tell us about an incident that might have happened in his/her locality. For example, a street fight or a road accident. These incidents can be explained briefly and put a full stop. Instead of that we generally hear an introduction, detailed version of the fight or accident, the people involved in it, their background – age, gender, caste, religion, mother tongue, education, job etc. and finally his/her own opinion about the incident. It takes time to complete the exaggerated story about which we may not be interested. Since they are our friends, we should not dissatisfy them by not lending our ears to their exaggerated stories.

Sometimes we do hear the exaggerated version of illness or health hazards. Invariably such overstatements contain certain per cent of distortion of facts. Also difficulties one encounter is being exaggerated. One’s own importance is also exaggerated to get a better social status. All these aspects of exaggeration have evolved in human beings. Some use it judiciously and some others non-judiciously. Where do you stand?

SUPPORT FROM SPONSORS SOLICITED

To meet the printing charges of NARA’S NOTEPAD

Sponsors are requested to contribute:

For 3 issues Rs. 1000/- or for 6 issues Rs. 2000/-

For 9 issues Rs. 3000/- or for 12 issues Rs. 4000/-

Local Cheque or Demand Draft may be sent favoring: A.Narayanan, Coimbatore.

TO QUOTE...

The greatest gift is the passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites. It gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination. – Elizabeth Hardwick

JUST TO LAUGH...

Postman: I have to come five miles to deliver this packet.
Man: Why did you come so far? You should have just post it!


Master to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It’s already raining.
Master: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

THE KYOTO PROTOCOL

The Kyoto Protocol was agreed upon in 1997 and came into force on 16 Feb. 2005. Originally 36 industrialized countries signed up and established targets to reduce or control emissions. The US and Australia, later dropped out. The basket of greenhouse gases are: Carbon dioxide, Methane, Nitrous oxide, Hydrofluoro carbons, Perfluoro carbons, Sulphur hexa fluorides.

MINDFULNESS FOR MEDITATION

1. Be aware of all the smell, texture, colors and sensual feelings you are experiencing.


2. Be mindful of what is happening internally and externally. Whenever you catch yourself judging what you see, think to yourself, “I am thinking.” and return to observing with simple attention.


3. Cultivate the art of simple listening to all sounds in your room: the rumble of a pipe, the honking of a horn, the barking of a dog, a plane flying overhead. Accept all sounds – noise, chaos, or stillness – without judgment.


4. Notice other sensations in the room: the ‘color’ of the day, the light in the room, any movement going on in front of you, and the sensations of quiet.


5. Accept without judgment all that happens. This means putting away all opinions and interpretations of what goes on. Catch yourself clinging to certain views, thoughts, opinions and preferences, and rejecting others. Accept your own feelings and experiences, even the unpleasant ones.


6. Try never to rush. If you must rush, be present in the rushing. Feel what it feels like.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT...

1. Being street smart indicates exploiting another person’s abilities for your gain and/or allowing the other person to do the same thing to you.


2. Developing a thick skin usually indicates inculcating an insensitive and unresponsive attitude.


3. Don’t expect to get everything and anything ‘free’ in this world.


4. Under mutually beneficial and ethical circumstances, giving first what the other person wants often increases the chances of what you would want the other person to do for you.


5. Give genuine appreciation and recognition whenever possible for demonstrated capabilities.


6. Give and take healthy and constructive criticism.


7. The individual who merely criticizes you seeks your downfall.


8. Practice positive reciprocal behavior, whenever and wherever possible.


9. Because each of us looks at things from a different perspective, don’t expect everyone to be pleased with your contributions however significant and great it may be.


10. Never select a subject, job or career just to make someone else happy.


-Dr. G. Govindarajan

ACTING IN COURAGE

Learn to give yourself a humble pat on the back. Each and every one of us has unique qualities that make us valuable to other people. Know your strengths and be proud of them. Confidence can be greatly increased by facing your fears and acting in courage. What are you afraid of? Do you have fear of failure or fear of making mistakes; a fear of disapproval or a fear of unknown? Sometimes fear can stop us from being who we really want to be .Feel the fear and do it anyway. Keep facing your fear until the fear goes away. Confidence can replace the fear.                                                                                                                           - Lori Radun

INFLATION

Inflation refers to a rise in prices of goods and services in an economy. When prices raise, the purchasing power of money declines; so inflation is said to reduce the value of money. The concept of inflation is simple, and widely understood, but the effect of inflation on different asset classes is subtle and often misunderstood.

In India, the two important measures of inflation – food inflation and headline inflation – are both based on the Wholesale Price Index (WPI). In any given week, the percent change of the WPI over the corresponding week in the previous year provides a year-on-year inflation figure called headline inflation (or just inflation). Thus headline inflation is influenced both by the latest value of the WPI and the corresponding value a year ago. If inflation was particularly high in the corresponding week last year, the current week’s headline inflation will tend to be lowered. The dependence on the preceding year’s WPI is called the base effect.

The hundreds of goods in the WPI basket include a large collection of foodstuffs including dozens of varieties of cereals, pulses, vegetables, fruits etc. This collection which has a weight of 14.34% in the WPI is called Food Article Index, commonly referred to as food inflation.

LIFE WITH MEANING

When we live life with meaning, reachable goals and expectations, moment by moment, in the present, with our loved ones, accepting whatever comes in our way with hope, and with understanding and calmness – we can say: We live life in harmony with ourselves.

Developing a harmonious life requires effort from our side, the right attitude, and positive self-esteem. If we don’t have these things, we need first to change whatever stands in our way.

We cannot have a solid and harmonious life without inner peace, a positive outlook, a good social life, and positive feelings about life itself. People who can say they live life in harmony are emotionally rich people.

In most cases, life harmony does not depend on material possessions; each and every person deserves a harmonious life in accordance with their life styles

Develop the ability to overcome temptation for improving your life.

Meet you next month JULY – 2011

Prof. A. Narayanan, Ph. D., FISPP

E-mail: arumugakannu@gmail.com

www.nara.tumblr.com (NARA’S DIGEST)

www.nara2007.blogspot.com (NARA’S NOTEPAD)

www.narapcard.blogspot.com (NARA’S POSTCARD)

Ph : 98422 42301