LIFE

There are two fundamental approaches that we adopt in life - we may be thinking about things or we may be taking action. We can do these in a masterful way, serene and calm; or we may find difficulties get stressed and worry ourselves - in this case we have a life challenge. Well done personal development involves changing from living for tomorrow to living today. By learning to change our way of being, while facing challenges in life, and gradually developing the knowledge and skills we need, we move from stress and worry to serenity and calmness.

HURRY LESS, WORRY LESS

Getting more out of your life isn't all about targets on the distant horizon, but it's about gaining more joy today. That starts with clearing your schedule now, so you can fit in more of the things you truly want to do. Many new clients come to me so bogged down in the day-to-day demands, but desperately wanting their lives to be different tomorrow. The result is they are rushing through each day in a flurry of activity with little time to relish the beauty of the moment at hand. That adds to the hurry and worry of each day. I work with them to reverse that and to hurry less and worry less so they enjoy life more. The key to enjoying today -- while moving forward on plans for the future -- is in your approach to your life. Decide now that you will find something in today that brings you joy. The start of that is creating the time in the day to fit in what you want.

NEGATIVE FEELINGS

There are the three faces of negative feelings: Worry, anger, depression. Most negative feelings you ever feel are a shade of anxiety, anger, or sadness. You know these feelings are unpleasant. You know they aren’t good for your health. But what can you do to minimize the amount of time you feel them?

First, of course, is to look at the situation causing the negative feelings. If there is a concrete circumstance, a real problem causing the feeling, give it some good hard thought and then do something about it, if you can. But if there’s nothing you can do about it, get involved in something that engages your mind and forget about it. Don’t try to stop thinking negatively. Simply try to get absorbed in doing something constructive.

Purposeful activities occupy mind-space, and the more the task engages or takes up your attention, the more mind-space it occupies. Get involved enough in something or do something absorbing enough, and there’s no more mind-space left to think about anything else. What continues a negative emotion is thinking about it.

Just as you can distract a crying child and he will forget his skinned knee, you can distract yourself with something so interesting or challenging or important, your mind will stop thinking about the problem, and your negative feelings — now that you’re no longer producing them with your thoughts — will dissipate. - Adam Khan