1. Constantly comparing yourself to the speakers.
2. Trying to mind read what the talker really thinks.
3. Planning what argument or story to give next.
4. Filtering so that one hears only certain topics or doesn’t hear critical remarks.
5. Judging a statement to be “crazy,” “boring,” “stupid,” “immature,” “hostile,” etc. before it is completed.
6. Giving off on one’s own daydreams.
7. Remembering your own personal experiences instead of listening to the talker.
8. Busily drafting your prescription or advice long before the talker has finished telling his/her woes.
9. Considering every conversation an intellectual debate with the goal of putting down the opponent.
10. Believing you are always right so no need to listen.
11. Quickly changing the topic or laughing it off if the topic gets serious.
12. Placating the other person by automatically agreeing with everything.
Because of these barriers, we typically retain for a few minutes only 65 per cent of what is said to us (recall 2 months later is 25 per cent)