How to win over others? or
how to influence a person’s beliefs, attitudes, intentions, motivations or
behaviours? – These are questions every one of us faces every day in our
profession. We influence others for various reasons because people depend on
others for many things. Winning over others – not defeating them – is an art,
otherwise known as persuasion. Persuading others for various purposes depend on
our need. When we need a help – may be money, votes, food, shelter, security
etc. we have to persuade in such a way that we are successful in getting them.
For that, we have to use the tactic/strategy of persuasion carefully without
hurting the feelings of others.
Leaders should master the technique of persuasion. Religious
leaders try to persuade people to join in their religion by telling the
goodness of their religion over the other religions. Business leaders have to
change the attitude of their subordinates towards the consumers/customers.
Political leaders win over their cadres by providing them opportunities for
them. Mostly changing behaviour of people is done through logic and reason.
Sometimes even bribing helps in influencing people. We call it as corruption.
If friendly persuasion fails, people try to use force or blackmailing strategy.
Thus there are many ways to win over others.
In order to achieve over ambitions, persuasion is generally
used. People who are physically attractive seem to be more persuasive. Likewise
people who are similar in behaviour and attitude with others are good in
persuasion. Knowledgeable and trustworthy person has an edge over others in
influencing people. In fact, we are always influenced by others around us; we
want to do what everyone else is doing.
The secret of persuasion to change the minds of people like
defeating the erroneous views of others was given by Blaise Pascal (1623 -1662)
as “People are generally persuaded by the
reasons which they have themselves discovered then by those which have come
into the minds of others.” Changing the minds of people is challenging but
persuasion is the solution for it.
Eloquence is an essential part of persuasion. It is said
that eloquence is painting of thought. Therefore, eloquence is an art of saying
things in such a way – that those to whom we speak may listen to them without
pain and with pleasure; that they feel themselves interested, so that self-love
leads them more willingly to reflection upon it!
Hence, Blaise Pascal said – “Kind words do not cost much; yet
they accomplish much.”
Belief is mental
acceptance of some idea as being true. You accept ideas from others because
they are authority figures. This setting of a belief in your mind (usually at a
young and trusting age) comes about because you have absolute trust in the
authority (generally the parent, sometimes the religious or educational
institution, sometimes another trusted outside agency such as a relative, peer,
or the media).
This acceptance can come about even when there are
facts that contradict it. Reinforcement of beliefs strengthens until, faulty or
true, they become a fundamental partof your
thought processes. To entrench matters more, now beliefs are tested through the
structure of the faulty belief, thereby compounding the problem. What this
means is that you only accept information that reinforces the belief.Information that contradicts the belief is
Movement toward any goal is better than analysis paralysis. Remember,
done is better than perfect.
It’s not about perfection but direction.
The key to happiness is having dreams. The key to success is making your
dreams come true.
How you handle yourself on the bad days will determine your success on
the good days.
Happiness is your responsibility, not others. Don't waste your life in
search of ultimate satisfaction. Find pleasure each moment you live and
satisfaction with each breath you take. Decide to be happy. One day it will be
your last breath.
Fall in love with what you're doing in life or stop doing it. Remember,
if the horse is dead, get off it!
Tough problems never last; tough people do.
To have a sense of control, know where you’re going and why you’re going
Out of every negative comes at least one positive.
If you don't prepare for change you'll never be prepared for the future.
It is natural
to want to be perfect, but aiming for perfection inevitably leads to negative
feelings simply because – in work, play, friendship or love – perfection just
is not possible most of the time. So challenge your perfectionist thoughts. Be
realistic in what you expect of yourself, of other people, of the world. Do not
stop aiming high, achieving well, or expecting the best of others, but stop
feeling bad when things do fall short of perfection in some way.