Wednesday, June 29, 2016
It was when I travelled from Chennai to Coimbatore by AC chair car, I noticed a young gentleman, elegantly dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. He was doing some work in his lap top. He did not make a small talk with his co-passenger sitting in the next seat. I was observing him keenly. Mostly I do observe people when I travel by train or air. It is an interesting hobby. Some of these people are worth watching and others are not! We can learn many things from such men and women. Their behaviour, attitude, conversation, movements etc., are worth watching. It’s a time pass for me, at the same time a learning process.
Yes, the gentleman I was watching pulled out some eatables from his plastic bag which made a crack noise. The eatables were not the ones I expected; they were a bar of chocolate, some nuts and an orange fruit. He started eating them one by one while others were ordering for masal dosa, vada, somosa etc., What a contrast! Without messing up, he finished his eating and took out a bottle of water and drank half of it. He went back to his lap top again.
I tried to learn something from this gentleman, although I am a seventy plus year-old man. One thing I could understand was that not to buy eatables from the railway canteens which are generally not hygienic. The gentleman did not disturb his co-passenger by buying the stuff from the canteen boys.
The most important thing I noticed was his eatables. He ate chocolate, nuts and an orange fruit! I was thinking about these three items again and again. Generally, I find very few people who eat such sophisticated foods. I was thinking about it even when I reached home.
I used to read for an hour before going to bed. I took one of the posts received on that day and found that it was a report on food nutrition. There was a chapter on Chocolate is good for your brain.
I got more interested in going through this chapter first. The report said that chocolates are good for brain and heart health because of the flavanol content coming from cocoa. Similarly the nuts are supposed to bring down the cholesterols and they are good sources of manganese, a trace mineral required for human nutrition. Orange is a good source for vitamin C which is considered to be one of the important anti-oxidants.
Now I could fully understand why the gentleman in the train took those three eatables. By the time my wife brought a cup of hot drink which was not coffee, but it was a chocolate drink!
"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect.
But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can.
He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.
Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give.
Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there.
Love hard when there is love to be had.
Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you." – Bob Marley
A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford on the subject of modern nutrition.
"The rubbish we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realize the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said:
Putting an end to rehashing, second-guessing, and catastrophic predictions is easier said than done. But with consistent practice, you can limit your negative thinking patterns:
1. Notice When You are Thinking Too Much
Awareness is the first step in putting an end to over thinking. Start paying attention to the way you think. When you notice yourself replaying events in your mind over and over, or worrying about things you can’t control, acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t productive.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts
It’s easy to get carried away with negative thoughts. Before you conclude that calling in sick is going to get you fired, or that forgetting one deadline is going to cause you to become homeless, acknowledge that your thoughts may be exaggeratedly negative. Learn to recognize and replace thinking errors before they work you into a complete frenzy.
3. Keep the Focus on Active Problem-Solving
Dwelling on your problems isn’t helpful, but looking for solutions is. Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid a future problem. Instead of asking why something happened, ask yourself what you can do about it.
4. Schedule Time for Reflection
Stewing on problems for long periods of time isn’t productive, but brief reflection can be helpful. Thinking about how you could do things differently or recognizing potential pitfalls to a plan, for example, can help you do better in the future. Incorporate 20 minutes of “thinking time” into your daily schedule. During this time, let yourself worry, ruminate, or mull over whatever you want. Then, when the time is up, move onto something more productive. When you notice yourself over thinking things outside of your scheduled time, remind yourself that you’ll think about it later.
5. Practice Mindfulness
It’s impossible to rehash yesterday or worry about tomorrow when you’re living in the present. Commit to becoming more aware of the here and now. Mindfulness takes practice, like any other skill, but over time, it can decrease over thinking.
6. Change the Channel
Telling yourself to stop thinking about something can backfire. The more you try to avoid the thought from entering your brain, the more likely it is to keep popping up. Busying yourself with an activity is the best way to change the channel. Exercise, engage in conversation on a completely different subject, or get working on a project that will distract your mind from a barrage of negative thoughts.
v The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. – Theodore Roosevelt
v When a thing is done, it’s done. Don’t look back. Look forward to your next objective. – George C. Marshall
v You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough. – William Blake
v If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. – Katharine Hepbum
Everyone has one common goal in life: to achieve true happiness. The biggest factor holding us back from achieving our dreams is, simply and sadly, our own selves. We put limitations on ourselves every day, whether intentionally or unintentionally. There are so many ways we can alleviate these restraints.
Remember, life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Stop making things complicated and just live your life. It would be so much simpler and more enjoyable if we learned to just release certain limitations.
Let's take a look at the things you need to let go of in order to become a happier person.
1. The Approval of Others
Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people's opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.
Anger will eat at you from the inside. Learn how to make peace with those who have wronged you. This isn't about letting the other person off the hook; it's about alleviating the pain that resonates within you. Keep in mind that he who angers you, controls you.
3. Negative Body Image
There is only one person's opinion you should be concerned with when it comes to your body and that is you. No one person determines what the "correct" body type is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are healthy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Do not let others tell you that you're not beautiful because if you believe you are, then you are.
4. Idea of A Perfect Partner
There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn't one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.
5. Perfect Life
Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself. – Ashley Bern
Ø Learn a new habit to replace the old one.
Ø Learn at least one new thing.
Ø Learn from knowledgeable, most respected, and most results-driven, fun-loving teachers.
Ø Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Ø Learn how to complete all that you undertake.
Ø Learn to be pleased with everything.
Ø Learn to forgive yourself and others.