YOUR own ability to regulate your emotions: The better you understand yourself, including your emotional triggers, and the better you’re able to cope when those triggers set you off, the more likely you’ll know whether it’s okay or not to vent.
YOUR feeling of safety and comfort in the situation: If you believe you can trust the people around you, showing your true self will be far easier than if you’re afraid of harmful consequences for taking down the mask of social nicety.
THE extent to which you feel accountable: The reason it’s so easy to act out against an anonymous voice on the phone is that you feel little compunction to be nice. This can prove counter- productive (no one wants to help a customer who’s insulting), but it might make you feel that you’re off the hook. The more you stand to lose, the more likely you’ll keep your feelings to yourself.