A car belonging to a pregnant patient was broken into. The only thing that was stolen was a wine bottle in a brown paper bag. It turns out, that’s where she was keeping her urine sample, which she’d brought in to be tested.
“Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. “The bathroom‘s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. “Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. “But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.”
A frantic man calls his doctor: “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!” “Is it her first child?” the doctor asks. “No,!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!”