I thought
opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out
of the plane.
Every
time my grandmother and I were at a wedding she’d say: “you’re next”. So I
started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is”
Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”
Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please
hold my hand?”
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him.
The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
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