Friday, May 30, 2014

MEMO FROM NARA...



Blaming others is one of the best hobbies for some. They are very good at it especially when they are upset or angry. In fact, we fail to find reason for it. We try to protect ourselves putting the blame on others. This is a universal human nature. Once we are free from upset or anger, then some of us do realise our mistakes and ask pardon from others. It is one of the bad sides of our character that is common to both genders.

Why do we do this? Is there any reason for it? Self-interest may be the main reason. Even we are not upset or angry we do find fault with others and blame them. We do it individually as well as in a group. Politicians are experts in blaming others. We often find political parties and party leaders quarrel by blaming each other every day. The opposition parties blame the ruling party in the name of helping the common man (aam admi). It is a common sight and entertainment for the common man!

When someone or a team is defeated either in sports, election or any other competition, he or she or a team blames the opponent or the referee or the election officer. It becomes the immediate reaction of these people and later they bow for reason, rules and proofs. Others are responsible for the blame in some cases. Therefore blaming others at times helps to bring out the truth. Protest is in fact, the right of everyone, but blaming others unreasonably is not desirable. Blaming others in their back is a custom people do follow so that they can easily escape. But it backfires when someone conveys the message to the concerned. It happens most of the time.

However, people try to escape by hiding while blaming others. No sensible person blames others without reason. If someone misbehaves, everyone is tempted to blame him or her. So in a social set up one has to learn how to behave and adjust with others. Understanding others is an art. So, one has to learn this art. It is a delicate affair. If we fail to handle it, then it leads to misunderstanding causing a great damage to relationship.

Building relationship and connecting people are essential for everyone who likes to live in a society harmoniously. Patience is one of the aspects we need to develop for tolerating the viewpoints of others we may like or we may not. Still it is better to listen and try to understand others’ views on a particular subject. Short sighted decisions are being taken often by the quickies. Those decisions may have adverse consequences.

Therefore, it would be better to wait, think and discuss before arriving at a decision. Blaming people for such quick decisions may not help once the decision is taken. If it is possible to reverse the decision for correction, we can avoid the blaming part. Blaming in fact is an irresponsible act. Although we know its effects, we do blame others to create unhappiness in the minds of people.

Why we need to do that? Instead, we may try to understand the person and correct him by teaching the proper ways and means. That would be a sensible action rather than going on blaming him. I feel that people should have tolerance and treat people as one like him or her. Such feelings will certainly improve the character of human beings. Are we not thinking of this view? Are we not supporting this view?

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