The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from cervicitis or inflammation of the cervix. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. The doctor assured her, “I’m positive your husband does not have cervicitis.” She shot back, “How do you know? You haven’t examined him yet.
My patient announced she had good news and bad. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. “What is the bad news?” I asked. “It tasted awful.” Since she was feeling better, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they’re called ear drops for a reason.
The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand, “ Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. “Fleet enema. Didn’t your doctor tell you about it?” “No.” She rechecked the orders, “Whoa!” she bellowed. “That didn’t say Fleet enema. It said feet elevated!”