DIVORCE

 

For hundreds of years in Europe, marriage and divorce were religious matters, not civil matters. This meant, as it does today in the Catholic church, that there was almost no way to get a divorce. Only 130 years ago, divorce became a civil matter to be handled by the courts of England and the U. S. Very few divorces were granted initially by the courts, a spouse had to be proven to be “at fault,” i.e. guilty of adultery or extreme cruelty. Gradually, more grounds for divorce were added, but someone still had to be at fault. In the 1920’s, there was one divorce granted for 7 marriages, recently (1998) there has been one divorce granted for every two marriages. More than a million people a year get divorce. Divorce is most common among couples who have been married only two or three years.

 

What are the reasons given for divorce by the spouses? In order of importance, women say (1) incompatibility and unhappiness, (2) husband’s alcohol, and verbal abuse,(3) husband’s infidelity, (4) disagreements about religion and children, (5) their own alcohol abuse, (6) their own infidelity, and (7) their needs for independence. Men say (1) drug abuse (wife’s or his) and mental illness, (2) may differences (religion, communication, in-laws), (3) his alcohol and physical abuse, (4) wife’s independence and infidelity, (5) incompatibility and unhappiness, (6) wife’s alcohol abuse, and (7) his infidelity. In general, “emotional problems” are the most common cause of divorce; man cite “sexual problems,” three times more often than women and women cite an “affair” twice as often as men. Quite often, people say they do not really know why their spouse filed for divorce. – Dr. Clayton E. Tucker Ladd (1998)