Library: A place where the dead live.
Life Insurance: A plan that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.
Pessimism: The determination to see less than there is in anything, and optimism is the ability to see more than there is in everything.
Pickpocket: A man who lives alone, but occasionally goes out in a crowd for a little change.
Politician: A fellow who shakes your hand before the election and shakes you after the election.
Sickness : Means not to feel well. There are three stages : 1. Ill 2. Pill 3. Bill. Sometimes there is another: 4. Will.
Snorer: A sound sleeper.
Successful man: One who can earn more than his wife can spend.
Summer Resort: A town where inhabitants live on your vacation money until the next summer.
Synonym: A word to use when you can’t spell the other word.
Tourist: A person who drives 1000 km to see some beautiful scenery and litters the road all the way.